Hollywood + Pregnancy = Complete Unreality

Alessandra Ambrosio had a baby 2 months ago.  This is how she looks now.



Two months after giving birth.  Two months.  I’m happy for Alessandra, but I’m also comforted by the knowledge that she’s a supermodel.  She is–how shall I put this?–a genetic freak whose chromosomes slammed together in such a way that she’s lovelier than 99.99% of the population.  The rest of us don’t look like this.  Heck, after photoshopping, even the models will tell you they don’t look like this.



So, why is it that Jessica Simpson is the (forgive me) butt of every fat joke?  They took this picture of her leaving the gym–good girl!  Exercising!  Getting healthy!  Oh, noooo–every headline mocked her for being overweight.  I actually counted this down–it was less than 3 hours after she gave birth when the first headlines appeared: “Jessica’s Slim-Down Plan.”  I’m proposing this: a press blackout for every pregnant model, celebrity, average human being–for a full two years after giving birth.  Who’s with me?  Wanna sign the petition?


Photo credit for a 3 month’s pregnant Gisele Bundchen, Just Jared






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