Every year I make a promise, and every year I fall short of that solemn pledge.
On those gray and frigid days late in January, I stand in the knee-deep snow and face the same challenge. I imagine myself removing the Christmas lights and neatly coiling them around a sturdy Christmas Light Holder(tm) that is then nestled in a hermetically sealed box that would preserve them for the next year’s application. Then, the next year’s decorating would be so effortless and carefree that the joy of the holidays WOULD BURST FROM MY VERY CHEST!
What I actually find myself doing is yanking the lights off the tree like a man trying to pull-start an outboard motor. So, what I end up getting is a ball of tangled lights.
Once again, my promise has been broken–along with my spirit–and half the once-festive lights.
I wish I could be like my friend Shawn, who has had the same lights since puberty. This year, I have no pretense of what the future holds for me and my lights.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the Collard Christmas 2009.